On our Instagram : @lizapons_mx
We conducted a survey about what topic you wanted this week's blog to be about.
If you don't follow us yet, hurry up and do so. This will allow you to participate in giveaways and interact with us. Believe us, you won't regret it!

To my surprise, one of the most mentioned topics was that one;
How to learn to say no?
And there are many reasons why we sometimes agree to do things we frankly don't want to do. Reasons such as social pressure, work pressure, or even toxic family relationships we've had for decades make us believe that learning to say no is extremely complicated, when in reality, it isn't.

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To explain this article we are going to take the particular case of Nicole,
A blog reader whose identity has been changed to preserve her privacy and who voted in our survey by sharing her story.

She told us:

“Hi Liza, you see, a few months ago my brother asked me to be his matron of honor, and although I'm very happy that he's getting married, my husband and I are going through a somewhat difficult financial situation, and I have no idea how to tell him that I can't take on that commitment without hurting his feelings.
Her wedding is getting closer and closer, and I feel trapped. I don't know how she's going to take it when I say no, or how to say it.
Any advice?

And just like Nicole, many times we women live locked inside our own truth without the will to say no.
So today I bring you, dear readers, three steps to make this process easier.

Step number one is brutally honest.
One of the biggest mistakes we make when trying to say no is making excuses and imagining 100,000 hypothetical scenarios. This only drains our mental energy and wears us down.
Being honest is the best way to connect with the person you're talking to, and connecting with them naturally generates empathy, enabling them to understand your circumstances.

My advice to Nicole would be to talk to her brother about the situation she's experiencing at home and start the conversation from there.

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Step number two: don't expect anything from anyone.
Just because we create a certain empathy by being honest doesn't mean that the other person always has the same level of awareness and prudence to understand our circumstances.
We can hope for the best, because that would always be ideal, but we should also find comfort in knowing that if we don't get the answer we expect, at least we were honest.

The advice for Nicole would be once she has spoken with her brother to wait for his response and this would take us to the third step.

Step number three
Prioritizing our feelings is a fact that we will never be able to control our environment and therefore the people who are part of it.

Nicole's advice is to wait for her brother's response, and if the answer isn't what she expected, to stand her ground, apologize for not being able to meet that commitment, and, most importantly, for not having said it in time.
But don't take it because you feel obligated to do so.

These are simple steps, a small formula that may or may not give you the result you expect.
But understanding that the outcome is no longer up to you, and of course being honest, is the first key to feeling comfortable saying no.

Now tell us..
Is saying no something that causes you conflict personally?
What other strategies do you think we could use to make this a less tedious process?
Don't forget that we love reading you and that it's never a bad day to try something new.